Background
The events of September 11, 2001 have struck fear and horror into the hearts and minds of millions of Americans. Children will not be immune to the fear that these tragic events spawn. It is important for parents, teachers, and other adults to respond appropriately to children.

Things to Remember

• Fear is an intense concern or worry caused by real and/or imagined danger.
• Fear is a natural and normal reaction to a scary event.
• Children younger than five years old cannot always tell fantasy from reality. Media depictions of attacks can be as scary as real attacks.
• Some children will exhibit fear through behavior, not words. Examples might include a lump in the throat, crying, abnormal fussiness or agitation.
• Sensitive children with vivid imaginations are more prone to intense fear reactions.
• All children, even the very young, have a sixth sense that enables them to be aware of an adult's fear and anxiety.
• Children will respond differently at different ages. See the age specific information below.

Tips to Help Children with Fear
The best overall strategy is to do two things simultaneously: acknowledge their fear while simultaneously reassuring them.

• Take your cues from the child. Don't assume they are more afraid than they may be. Conversely, don't assume that they are unaware of what has happened.
• Take their fears seriously. Don't try to talk them out of it.
• Respond calmly. Don't exaggerate their fears by using extreme language or by overreacting.
• Answer their questions directly but don't give them more information than they are asking for or that they need.
• Provide physical reassurance with lots of hugs and touching.
• Make sure they know that it's okay to ask questions.
• Manage the media diet of coverage according to their age. (See below.)
• Remind children of other national tragedies (for example, the bombing of Pearl Harbor and the Challenger Space Shuttle explosion) and explain that life goes on and/or the United States does overcome these tragedies. See age specific suggestions below.

Early Childhood
Even though very young babies and toddlers may not know what is going on they may pick up a parent's worry and anxiety with their "sixth sense."

• Try to stay calm around babies and toddlers.
• Maintain normal routines as much as possible. Routines are reassuring for babies.
• Shield babies and toddlers from media reports as much as possible.

Preschoolers
Preschoolers will be more tuned into what has happened. They have probably heard or seen media reports and have probably heard others discussing the attacks. Preschoolers are most concerned about their own safety and the safety of their parents, relatives and friends. They are not always able to distinguish between fantasy and reality.

• Acknowledge that something very scary has happened, but that you and other adults will make sure they are safe. Let them know that adults will figure out what is going on.
• Give them lots of hugs and physical reassurance.
• Try to maintain the child's normal routine.
• Do not let a preschooler watch continuous scary news reports on TV. They can't control what is happening and this will only scare them.
• Child will need more comfort, especially at bedtime.

Schoolage
This age child will be more aware of what is going on and the reactions of other people. These children are also most concerned about their own safety and safety of family and friends.

• It is important to be honest with them. Tell them what you know about what happened without exaggerating or overreacting.
• Acknowledge that something very scary has happened.
• Emphasize that they are safe and that adults will find out what is happening.
• Limit TV coverage for the children.
• Continue normal routine.
• Child will need more comfort and lots of reassurance.
• Make sure you talk to the child and don't assume that they are too young to know what is going on.

Middle School
Children this age will be very aware of what is going on. They may be prone to exaggeration. Jokes or humor can mask fears for this age group.

• Talk to your middle school child and answer any questions.
• Acknowledge any feelings of fear, horror, and anger.
• Provide comfort and reassurance.
• Children this age will be more interested in details. Share what you know but don't overwhelm them.
• Some children may act out scary feelings or may become more withdrawn. Talk with them and ask them to tell you about their feelings.
• Use historical examples (e.g. Pearl Harbor, Challenger Space Shuttle, etc.) to explain that bad things happen to innocent people but as people and as a nation we go on with our lives and resolve bad situations.

High School
Youngsters in high school have probably already talked about the attacks with friends. it is important to be honest with them and let them know what is going on. This age may be glued to TV, eager for news and details.

• It is important to talk about what has happened and about both yours and their feelings.
• Acknowledge fear, sadness, and anger.
• Some teens may also just block out the whole thing and refuse to acknowledge that anything big has happened or that they care. This often masks real fears and feelings of being overwhelmed.
• Some teens may make jokes. Let them know it's not funny without lecturing them.
• Some teens may be very interested in discussing issues that this tragedy raises. Be willing to engage them in serious discussions.
• Be careful to avoid placing blame on a whole group of people or targeting particular groups.
• Use historical tragedies as a basis for conversation. Talk to your teen about how the situation may be resolved in terms of rescue workers, governmental responses, foreign policy changes, etc.

David Walsh, Ph.D. is a psychologist and the president of the National Institute on Media and the Family in Minneapolis. He is the author of seven books on children and parenting and is a frequent guest on national radio and television.